Whilst Christmas is often seen as the time to be happy, merry, jolly and bright, in truth, it can be a stressful and busy affair. For many people, the run-up to Christmas can feel overwhelming, trying to juggle everything (getting the "right" presents, the "right" food, making sure you've remembered Christmas jumper day, Christmas fairs, dinners, nativities, works do, booked your hair appointment, nails, visit to the grotto.....) And all too easily, we become overwhelmed and exhausted and can end up feeling resentful.
Here are my top ten tips for keeping calm this Christmas
Write a list (check it twice!)
I’m a big believer in using lists to organise your thoughts, help you keep track, prioritise and delegate. Try writing your to-do list and then review it: how many of the items on it are really necessary? What could you task someone else to do? Writing things down also helps to free up some space in your mind to help you focus on the task in hand.
Ask for help
Seriously, you don’t need to do it all yourself. There’s no point running yourself ragged and then being too exhausted to enjoy the time with your family and friends. Think about what is causing you stress and then ask for help. You may find that people are grateful of being able to help, or it may be mutually beneficial (for example, my friend was getting stressed because she had no time to shop without her daughter present, so I offered to have her daughter for a few hours and job done - she gets to shop in peace and my daughter gets a friend to play which leaves me free to get some jobs done at home).
Say no
If you can’t do something, say so. Don’t say “maybe” if you mean “no”! Be assertive and explain that, whilst you would like to help, you just can’t commit to it. It’s not fair to you or the other person to take on more than you can manage. If the person asking really values and respects you, they’ll appreciate your honesty. You don’t have to accept every invitation or volunteer for every task. And remember that traditions can be changed! If there is something you are not enjoying,have a think about who you are doing it for. If there is a tradition that no longer suits you and your family, create a new one.
Budget
It really isn’t worth getting yourself into debt for one day. Make a realistic budget and stick to it. Charity shops, e-bay and local selling sites might provide the gifts you are looking for at a fraction of the price. And don’t compare: remember that what you see on social media isn’t always a true representation. Yes, your child may be disappointed if they don’t get everything on their list, but they will survive, I promise!
Healthy eating
Don’t let yourself get “hangry”! Remember to keep yourself fuelled, but try and add something nutritious into the Christmas diet! In a season of biscuits, chocolates, and sweet treats, it’s easy to fall into the trap of the quick sugar rush, but remember that it comes with a price. The sugar crash can lead to being tired and irritable, so make sure you pace the nibbles. Moderation is a good word to keep in mind, rather than ending up feeling bloated or unhappy. Equally, make sure you stay hydrated: dehydration can impact on your mental health and well-being, as well as your physical health.
Sleep
Try and keep to a good sleep routine over the Christmas period, to help you feel rested, energised and calm. If you are finding that you are struggling to sleep because of stress or over-excitement, think about good sleep hygiene practices:
Try avoiding all sources of caffeine from around 3pm. Remember caffeine isn’t just in coffee; it’s also in things like tea, chocolate, and fizzy drinks. Keep your bedroom for sleeping: checking emails, social media or making lists in bed may stop your brain associating the bedroom as a place of quiet rest and, instead, the bedroom becomes associated as a place of cognitive activity. Ruminating over your list will keep the brain active, so try keeping a notebook by your bed to write thoughts down before sleep instead. Doing exercise is a great way to relax, however, the endorphins released from exercise can also impact on sleep; try to avoid exercising within two hours of bedtime. Instead, try a lavender bath or reading a relaxing book. Meditation and breathing exercises can also help. Listen to a guided relaxation or peaceful music.
Mindful Moments
As you go about your tasks, try and build in a mindful moment here and there. As you write your Christmas cards, really think about the recipient, the message you want to send. Have a mindful cup of tea and mince pie, savouring the warmth, the flavours and textures. Listen to a Christmas song or carol, mindfully, paying attention to the words, the melodies. Allow yourself to just be.
Stay present
Ground yourself in the moment: Take the time to enjoy the festivities, the time with your family and friends. It’s easy to get caught up in thoughts of what you still need to do, etc, but try and focus on the moment.
Go for a walk
Get away from the chaos of shops, adverts, Christmas songs on repeat. Wrap up warm and go for a good stomp in the woods! The fresh air will help you feel more focused and invigorated and the exercise will help get the endorphins flowing. Taking some time to step into nature can help you feel calmer and grounded.
Remember you
Take a moment to think about what feels really important to you this year. What do YOU want or need? And if you re-frame it slightly, does it help? Instead of "I have to..." try "I choose to...". Listen to your body: make sure you are eating, drinking and resting as much as you need to. With the darker nights, colder days and wintry weather, it’s easy to slip into the winter blues. Practising some self-care can prevent this. Think about what helps you to feel calm: a walk, a snuggle with a pet or loved one, a quiet evening with a book, a warm bath … Give yourself the gift of peace this Christmas. Self-compassion isn’t selfish, it’s necessary for your well-being.
Christmas Bonus, number 11!
Listen to your heart. If you feel you are getting stressed and anxious, try and slow your heart rate. Take in a deep breath, and let it go, slowly and steadily. Repeat. Breath in and breath out, slowing your exhalation, and feeling your heart slow down. Close your eyes and feel yourself becoming stiller and calmer.
If you are finding the Christmas season stressful or finding it hard to cope, tell someone. Don’t keep things bottled up inside: talk about it with a friend or family member. Or if you need to speak to a professional , you can speak to your GP, a counsellor or The Samaritans (Freephone: 116 123)